When I arrived in Goshen five years ago, I believed it would be for a short time frame. God had prepared me for the move one month prior but did not indicate the length of my stay. God’s reason for sending me back to Indiana was unknown, but I trusted Him to provide all that I needed, and He did. The following month, in May, I began employment as a caregiver for a special woman I had initially met in 2011. After working for her and her daughter a few weeks, I realized that I might be in Goshen longer than six months. Three years and four months later, this precious woman, whom I have written about previously, moved to heaven. At that point I began to ask the Lord if it was time for me to leave, though I did not know where I would be going, just believing/hoping my time was up in Goshen. Instead, He led me to work as a caregiver for a local home care company in nearby Middlebury. That is when the possibility of remaining in Indiana long term really hit home.

Caring for one individual on a daily basis versus being involved in the care of several people daily was a vast change. I was overwhelmed initially with the technology involved, the travel to different addresses in various parts of the county, and the diverse needs in covering many clients. The first day was a nightmare and I had to go home early. I wondered if God knew what He was doing when He sent me to do this work. I wrestled with obedience to stay where He had me positioned, ultimately yielding to His will.

The weeks passed, and I grew more confident in my abilities and the constant changes. I prayed daily for God’s help in every way with my work responsibilities. I spent much quiet time alone with God when I was not working, continuing to seek Him daily. Another year passed with no word from God about my next step or how long I would remain in Goshen. This was always in the back of my mind, though I had stopped praying for the answer. I had learned to rest in Him and to be at ease in my situation. There was no use in fretting or trying to understand what only God knew.

In serving, I met many people in a relatively short time frame and discovered the joy of helping others. Some days were filled with the presence of the Holy Spirit, and I moved through my duties in absolute wonder. I traveled to Memphis only at Christmas to see my family during this season in Northern Indiana.

A Southern accent is noticed in this area. Conversations typically started with questions about how I came to Goshen. This provided a unique opportunity to share about Scott and our love story, and the greater love story of meeting Jesus through his death. I carried a few copies of my book, “Showered By Grace”, in the car to give if someone wanted to read more of the details. These exchanges encouraged my spirit and provided inspiration to endure. Later in the evening, I would recall the vision God gave me in October 2016 and reread the scripture, Hebrews 10:35-36, “So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.”

I received the first sign that change was coming on February 20, 2023. I was spending time that night with the Lord, singing, reading scripture, and worshipping, when I received a vision. I was wide awake. “I am looking at a road through a windshield. I sense I am sitting in a car driving. A bird fluttering its wings suddenly appears, zooms close to the windshield, and then moves forward. I am to follow His leading. The Holy Spirit will lead and I am to follow.”

The next night I kept my room quiet with no technology. I found a video, “Dance of the Mahanaim”. I reflected on a three-part dream I had received several years ago. I had prayed repeatedly for the interpretation, but God had not provided revelation, until I watched Jane Hamon talk about “The Dance of the Mahanaim”. I viewed a more recent video from two years ago where she explained that we must learn to “dance”; speaking of intimacy with God; “dance” in covenant with God and with other believers; learn to let Him lead in this “dance” between heaven and earth. She spoke of many things and mentioned the scripture Song of Solomon 6:13. (I am not quoting Jane Hamon verbatim; only some notes I jotted down while listening to her speak. Her complete teaching was more in depth.) I stayed up late that night in reflection and prayer.

While listening to a message by Pastor Bill Johnson on February 25, 2023, I wrote this prayer in my journal that he had spoken in his teaching, “God, help me navigate this season well”, from Psalm 20:4. Something had already shifted in the spiritual realm and I wanted to stay closely connected to God through this transitional stage. Prayers increased with heightened spiritual sensitivity.

On March 3, 2023, I woke from an incredible dream at 2:15 in the morning. The interpretation was not complicated and I rejoiced in what God had just revealed. I prayed for confirmation and talked to God about what I had seen. I later phoned my spiritual mother for her insight. I held my words until after she voiced her impression. We rejoiced together! I did not know at that moment how everything would transpire, but I knew without a doubt that whatever was next for me would be in Memphis. I was going to relocate to Memphis soon and God would meet me there. Hallelujah!!! I would be with my family after years apart. Life was going to change completely and abruptly.

There were many conversations with friends over the following days and weeks. The reality of leaving Goshen was beginning to sink in as the end of the month drew closer. I submitted a two-week notice on March 17, and my last day of employment would be March 31. During the 18 months with Firefly, I had grown close to several clients and it was not easy to say goodbye. I knew I probably would not see them again on this side of eternity. I had been involved in the care of some amazing people with interesting lives and stories of their own, and I would carry those cherished memories with me to Tennessee.

On Tuesday, March 28, I stopped at the post office to check my mail. I ran in and out quickly as I had a break between the morning and afternoon clients. I got in my vehicle, strapped on the seatbelt, and my car wouldn’t start. There was a short metal rubbing noise and then nothing. I thought it might be the starter. A couple of days prior I had heard a metal sound while I was driving but did not know where it was coming from exactly. I phoned a precious friend, to ask the name of a trustworthy auto mechanic. To condense a lot of details, her husband and my landlord, who are long time friends, came after their work day ended to tow my car (saving me the towing fee) to the shop he recommended. My friend had picked me up from the post office and was going to allow me to use their extra vehicle while mine was being repaired so I would not have to miss work.

Initially it was thought it might be the following Monday before the car would be ready because there was a list of needed repairs and some were immediate. As my friend’s husband started reading the list, I could feel stress rise in my chest. The estimated cost was $2500-3000K. I teared up and expressed that I could not afford such repairs. I had been thinking a few hundred dollars for a new starter, which would have been challenging but doable; however, I did not have this amount to spend on my vehicle. I was told not to worry about the cost, that the bill was being covered. My mouth fell open as my friends explained that the cost was covered. I said I would need to make a payment plan to repay the amount, and again I was told there was no balance to pay. I did cry at that point. For people to extend that depth of generosity and love could only come from God. He was providing safe travel to Memphis for me and my vehicle. The more I thought about the whole situation, the deeper my gratitude reached. My vehicle had stopped running at a safe location, not on the side of the road and not in traffic. Necessary repairs were performed before leaving town. I only missed one hour of work that week. My car was returned on Friday. My friends were happy to help me and I was astonished at how everything was falling into place. More tears. More prayers. More praise to God.

The most painful goodbyes were during the last week of March. Hugs and love were shared with precious friends over lunch or dinner or coffee. I received wonderful cards filled with blessings and prayers. Seeing them for the last time pierced my heart. I had been blessed over and over by our friendship and fellowship. I would miss their smiles and laughter and warmth. An overwhelming outpouring of love from God descended upon me through these hands and hearts. The last seven days were intensely emotional and yet strengthening. Five years in Goshen were coming to an end.

Thursday morning, April 6, my vehicle was loaded and I was ready to leave. I noticed the two long weathered boards leaning against the wall that I had saved since May 2019. I remembered the day clearly. The parking lot where I lived sloped down from the street. Heavy rain would flood the lot, but usually the water would drain enough so I could maneuver out of the parking lot; however, on this particular day at 8:30 in the morning heavy rainfall had filled the lot and there was no drainage. The nearby creek was flooded to the banks and threatened to spill over. I could not get out of the parking lot to go to work. I called the office and then went inside and lifted prayers. Typically the water would take several days to completely drain and I was worried about how that might affect my job. I walked outside and snapped several photos in unbelief at the amount of water. I also took photos of the area across the street. I checked outside again at 1 pm, and the water in the parking lot had drained to less than half the previous volume and the creek level had dropped dramatically. I was in awe of this answered prayer as I took a few pictures.

The next day, when I arrived home after work, the water was completely gone. On one side of the parking lot in the grass lay some boards. I walked over to pick them up and saw that two were in the position of a cross. “What?!!!”, I exclaimed out loud. I picked them up and set them outside my door to dry for the next couple of days. I then placed them in my apartment and planned to take them with me when I moved.

Now, almost four years later, I am ready to leave and realize these special boards are too long to fit in my car. My landlord and his crew are loading inventory in their trucks and they ask if I need any help. I explained about the boards, that I had kept them since 2019 and had planned to take them with me when I moved. My landlord suggested cutting a length of wood from each board and making a cross. The idea sounded simply wonderful, and I responded with a huge smile and a resounding “YES”! He had the necessary tools with him and made quick work of the project. I stood by my car while he sawed and secured the pieces of wood in utter amazement. Five years had passed and now this season in Goshen was coming to a close. Images of the spiritual mountains and valleys, the heartbreaks and the joys, the disappointments and the hopes that I had experienced quickly flashed through my mind in those few moments.

I placed the treasured cross in my car and thanked my landlord profusely once again. I crossed the city limits filled with God’s love, acutely aware of His Presence. Gratitude washed over me as I reflected on the safety of my vehicle and the assurance I would not have any problems on the highway. I asked God once again to abundantly bless all who had blessed me during my stay in Goshen.