I left Knoxville Thursday morning full of excited anticipation.  I knew God had worked through all the hands involved for this weekend’s activities to fulfill His plans.  Provision came for gas, food, and incidentals just before my journey north.  After a long 12-hour trip, I arrived safely.  Sue and her husband graciously opened their home for me to stay with them during my time in Indiana.  She provided fresh hot coffee every morning with conversation in the sunroom, followed by a healthy breakfast before starting the day.  She took the photos and helped with the table display props for the book signings, providing an easel for the “Oak Arches” print, and made the banner hanging across the tablecloth.

I met Patricia at the South Side Soda Shop in Goshen for lunch on Friday.  (She was a member of my grief family and the friend with whom I shared long walks in the evening during the Summer of 2012.)  The diner had been previously featured on “Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives”, so I was curious about this place.  We had an enjoyable lunch and then spent a few hours at her home catching up outside on her back patio.  Weather was perfect, a nice break from the heat of Knoxville!  We met Sue at “The Electric Brew” an hour before “First Friday” started, to set up the table display and talk to the owner.  He allowed us to choose the spot we wanted to use in the coffee shop for the book signing.  Many people connected to Scott showed up that night.  Some bought a book and others picked up a business card.  I enjoyed talking to everyone who came.  There were some short but meaningful conversations shared at the table.  Later, I followed Sue in my vehicle back to her house, thanking the Lord, in awe of many special moments in a short time frame.

Sue and I rode together Saturday morning to the Essenhaus in Middlebury.  The staff had a table already placed, covered with white linens, and a nice flower arrangement with a small pottery vase of pens adorned one corner of the table.  A framed color flyer of the book signing event stood on display as well.  The table was positioned so that we would be visible to everyone walking through the restaurant and gift shop area.  A nearby free-standing floor display held a quantity of books as well.  

The Essenhaus is a popular tourist stop, especially for groups traveling by bus.  One woman from Canada bought a book.  Another woman was reading the back cover and sent her husband to the table to get her book signed after purchasing.  My father-in-law, Monica (a special friend in the book), and Donna, a woman who babysat Scott when he was very young, all brought their books previously purchased for me to sign.  Some shoppers wanted a business card with the book links so they could check it out first.  The staff at the Essenhaus were very thoughtful.  They brought us ice water and then later in the afternoon some fresh coffee.  The book signing event was announced over the intercom several times, and the event was displayed on their outdoor digital sign.  Sue took several photos and was eventually able to capture some very good images.  It was tricky with the screen constantly changing.  An older couple approached the table at one point.  While the wife was looking at the book cover, her husband asked me if I was on TV.  Laughing as I replied, I said, “Not yet!”  The first book sale at the Essenhaus was to a woman in a wheelchair.  As I talked about my story I sensed a need in her for a touch from God, and at the end of our conversation I told her I wanted to pray for her.  The prayer was the highlight, for me, of that event.  Wonderful experience and people.  The manager was on vacation and had left a handwritten note and an Essenhaus gift card for me.  Sue and I enjoyed a welcome meal before we left the restaurant.

I had arranged previously to visit with my father-in-law after the book signing event, and we drove to Bristol later that afternoon.  The familiar roads that had filled me with incredible pain following Scott’s death now were without sorrow.  We picked up Jerry and visited the cemetery together.  The conversation dropped to soft silence as we walked towards the grave.  I looked up at the sky peeking through the canopy of graceful aged tree limbs and marveled at how God had taken away the pain of that loss.  There were a few tears as I stood there, remembering, but no pain, as my memories quickly brought me back to the present.  We returned to Jerry’s home and he served us fresh coffee, fruit, and cookies.  We talked quite a while and it was a delightful visit, exchanging warm hugs and words, before returning to Sue’s home.  Late night of reminiscing and sharing.

I rose early Sunday morning in time to attend my Indiana home church for first service at 8. This would be a great way to start my trip back to Knoxville.  I sat with Monica and her family during the service.  The music and message were food for my soul and I felt nourished as I left the parking lot.  After breakfast, I visited the neighborhood where I once lived with Scott.  None of the neighbors were outside, and I drove through the streets without any pain or sadness.  During the course of the weekend I had driven through different parts of the city, across the once-familiar county roads, and the other towns Scott and I had visited during our life together, but this time everything was different.

I left Goshen in deep gratitude to God.  These pieces of my previous life are all part of my journey but not part of my present.  I have been released, with my own inner healing.

Only God.