The following is an excerpt from my next book which I am continuing to write and plan to finish before the end of this year. To God be the Glory.

I was not prepared for what would happen on Sunday, Mother’s Day, 2014. I enjoyed the drive to Campbell County twice a week. Soon after I started attending this campus, God directed me to go to the church campus one evening in the week to pray, in addition to serving on Sunday. I drove up every Thursday evening to pray through the church, over the city, the county, and all issues as led by the Holy Spirit. One member who lived in that area joined me on those nights, and we prayed together in agreement. This particular Sunday morning I was praying and talking to God, with worship music playing on the radio, while driving up I-75. I reached the Lafollette exit and turned right. The traffic light at the exit ramp was red as I approached the intersection. I noticed a man standing on the shoulder, which was very unusual, who appeared to be looking for a ride. The details of his appearance stood out. He was wearing blue jeans, white tennis shoes, a royal blue jacket with white piping trim and black color blocks on the shoulders. He wore a royal blue ball cap with a stripe of black in the middle and white piping trim. In addition, he was carrying a black duffel bag on each shoulder, matching in style. His face was without facial hair, and he was very neat and clean in appearance. I thought it strange that he was so well-groomed and his clothes were clean without wrinkles, and yet he was standing next to the highway as in need of a ride. Out of my peripheral vision, I could see he was looking at me as I drove by. I wondered if I was supposed to offer him a ride, but dismissed that idea because I never offer rides to strange men and I did not believe God would ask me to do anything that would put me in danger. I did not see anyone stop and give him a ride in my rear view mirror as I drove away from the intersection.

I followed the local highway to a familiar fast food restaurant in town for a quick breakfast, about three miles from the exit. To my great surprise, the man I had passed standing on the shoulder was now walking across the parking lot, his back to me, towards the Walmart store that was situated next to the restaurant. How did he get here ahead of me so quickly? I chose a parking space, wondering what this meant. Was I supposed to speak to this man? If I approached him, what would I say? I was filled with conflicting thoughts as I emptied some trash into a nearby receptacle. I looked out over the parking lot but could not see the man. Puzzled, I went inside for a quick breakfast and then left for church. I was late arriving and missed early prayer before service. My mind kept straying back to the stranger.

When service ended, about two hours later, I went outside to my vehicle to begin the drive home. As I began moving through the parking lot towards the highway, the same man was walking on the sidewalk across the parking lot entrance. There were a few cars ahead of me in line, and I was waiting behind them to turn. The man stopped, turned around, and looked in my direction. I was shocked. Surely I was not supposed to talk to this man. Who was he? He turned back around and continued walking on the sidewalk away from the parking lot, still carrying the identical duffel bags on each shoulder, wearing the same clothes. The distance from the fast food restaurant to our church was about two miles. He could have walked that distance long before our church service ended; how was he crossing the church parking lot entrance at this particular moment in time? I hesitated before turning. Should I turn to the right and pursue this man? Again, questions raged about what I would say. I turned left instead and drove home. My spirit was heavy and my mind was distracted. The fleeting thought to turn around was quickly dismissed. As the distance increased, a proverbial rooster crowed in my mind as the scriptures regarding Peter’s denial of Jesus hit my heart. Had I, like Peter, failed in a pivotal moment?

Throughout the afternoon and into the evening my thoughts were absorbed with the details of that day and the man. Why had I not stopped and spoken to him? I saw the man three separate times. That was not a coincidence. Condemnation flooded my thoughts followed by fear that I had missed something significant from the Lord. I was in turmoil. I cried in prayer and my heart felt broken, as I talked to God about “angel man”. Monday evening I phoned the special woman that I fondly regarded as my spiritual mother. I had met her and her husband through an acquaintance at church. Her husband, a retired pastor, had the gift of interpreting my dreams and visions, while she provided wise counsel and prayers with impressions from the Holy Spirit. They had become an important part of my life and my walk over the past year; I considered them my spiritual mentors. She explained that this could have been an angel, a messenger from heaven. My failure to speak to this man was an act of rebellion. She led me through prayers for forgiveness and cleansing of my rebellion, followed by prayers to receive the forgiveness. She advised me strongly to stay in the Word and prayed for God to send the angel again.

This turmoil in my spirit lasted through the next day and into the night. I continued to pray and read the bible, desiring to hear from the Lord. I asked God to resend the messenger. Then on Wednesday, God spoke unexpectedly while I was watching a video on social media. In the video, a piano had been set up in a train station in London in the middle of a crowded area. There was a sign on the piano that read, “Play Me, I’m Yours”. The video showed a man hesitantly sitting down to stroke the keys and then breaking forth in song. As I read the words on the sign, I heard God say in my spirit, “Take Me, I’m Yours!” Pure joy surged in my spirit in response. I had listened to sermons recently about receiving the harvest, receiving God’s blessings, receiving from God. The messages explained that some people are faithful to sow but do not receive their harvest. God’s words jolted me. I was laughing and crying, thrilled to hear from Him after the dreadful events on Mother’s Day. I received the revelation that God was saying, “Receive! Take my blessings, my love, ME! Take and receive!” I sat in awe in His presence, soaking in the awareness of His great love. I was afraid that I had failed an important test from God, canceling His plans for my life, and now I had received reassurance to continue my journey. I prayed repeatedly for God to send His messenger again, to no avail. Every Thursday night and every Sunday morning when I drove to that church campus, I hoped and prayed that he would be standing in the same place and I could stop and talk to the man. My heart would beat a little faster in hopeful anticipation as I slowed down in the exit ramp off the interstate. The same hope would spring up in my mind when service was over on Sunday mornings while I started the drive home. However, no one was standing on the shoulder at the traffic light. I was involved at this campus until May 2016, and he never reappeared. Indeed, I never saw anyone standing on the shoulder at that traffic light again.

The deep disappointment in myself lessened with time but did not disappear completely. Awareness grew of God’s great patience with me as He continued to teach and guide me moving forward.

2021-02-23